In the book “The Seer of Remmon,” the main character Jolus is betrayed by his brother. And if that is not enough, he ends up in slavery in some foreign land. None of this is his fault. If anyone has room to complain, it is Jolus.
Unfortunately Jolus does complain, and he complains quite a bit. And we are guilty of complaining sometimes as well. We plan things, but something doesn’t go right and we get upset. Or we lay out agendas and someone comes along and changes them. This bothers us greatly. The Bible tells us that we are supposed to lay our plans with the Lord and trust Him to care for everything. But this is much easier said than done.
The need to complain is one of our chief problems. But abolishing this aspect of ourselves would mean abolishing a huge part of what makes us human. None of us are living in a vacuum or on a desert island somewhere. We were born with the need to live in community with others. Because of this innate attribute, it is normal to want to share our feelings and desires with other people.
Sharing all the good things is fine. The problems come in when we also share the bad things. When someone hurts us we want others to know about it. When we don’t get that promotion or are overlooked for some reason we want to tell the world how we’ve been wronged. There is an intense need to have others sympathize with us and feel our pain. This is not so bad when we are grieving or if we have suffered a loss. But when it’s because we feel we’ve been wronged it is another story.
King David felt a very great need to impart his hurt when he felt mistreated. But he was wise because rather than pouring out his hurt to others, he gave it to the Lord. We can read psalm after psalm where David’s pen brimmed over with pain about how he’d been wronged. And he begged God to handle it for him and then he left it in God’s hands. We should all follow David’s example. But how do we do that?
First, we should ask ourselves why we feel such a need to share our hurt with others. What drives us to blurt out our feelings out rather than keep them to ourselves? Was there some wrong done to us that we’ve never been able to get over? Do we feel that we are continually treated unfairly for some reason? What is going on inside us to make us believe that God is still not enough?
We must be willing to scrutinize these issues. A lot of people have a keener than average sense of fairness. When things are unjust they get very frustrated and it makes them crazy. Examining the root cause can help a person find their balance again. The fact of the matter is that life is unjust and there’s nothing we can do to alter things. But if you can’t acknowledge this then you’ll spend your life in distress.
Take a few moments to try and analyze these questions. If there are unsettled issues and you’re able to do something about them then you should get started now before something happens that you’ll regret. If there is nothing you can work through then look to God and ask Him to supply the grace you need every moment. The next time the issue crops up, be ready to look to God again and again and rely on His power to live through it.
“O LORD, how my adversaries have increased! Many are rising up against me. But You, O LORD, are a shield about me, my glory, and the One who lifts my head.” Ps. 3:1,3 (NASB).
Norita Sieffert is a professional speaker and published author who has spent a lifetime learning to overcome these very same issues, and conquers them one day at a time. She has fully committed herself to knowing and serving Jesus Christ. To explore her latest Christian fiction titles on Kindle, go to her online bookstore.